Dear Abby: My boyfriend still has a wife – should I break things off?

Dear ABBY: I started seeing someone I’ve known for years. At our first meeting, he told me that he had tried several times to divorce his ex of many years. He said they live in different states and every time it’s tried, something has gone wrong.

I am about to start nursing school and what I want is a comfortable relationship to work around my schedule. We have talked exclusively about the relationship with each other, but we agreed that it will not lead to marriage, because he is on his third and currently does not have the funds to hire a lawyer to get out of it. I’m seeing him as a friend with benefits to hang out with. Is this relationship okay? – CHALLENGED IN UTAH

Dear Challenged: It seems very clear about the coincidence of this relationship. If it’s okay with you, okay with him, and okay with wife no. 3, then it’s okay with me. OK?

Dear ABBY: I live with a wonderful partner. We share the tasks of building a beautiful life around us. However, our mutual friends seem to praise my partner, but not me. I wonder if this could be my fault. I always say good things about it, while I find many negative issues arise for me. Once, when I confronted him about it, the response was, “You’re not talking about me to other people?” I haven’t said a bad thing about him to anyone. Am I creating a circle of hate around myself? – LOCATED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR ENCOUNTER: No, you are not. If your partner has a complaint about you, he should discuss it with you and not with the people you hang out with. The phrase “circle of hate” seems extreme, but your “wonderful” partner painting you in a negative light hardly enhances your image and needs to stop. That won’t happen until you finally draw the line and make it clear that what he has done is unacceptable.

Dear ABBY: My husband has a terrible habit. He likes to order dessert first and asks to be served after the wait staff takes everyone’s order. Last night, we were at a birthday party with 15 adults at a restaurant and he did it again.

They served a wonderful cake for dessert, which he enjoyed at the end of the meal, as well as his pie at the beginning when no one else had anything but drink. He says it wasn’t rude, but I disagree. Please, what do you say? – CRAP IN IOWA

DEAR FOLLOWING: This may be less a question of whether your husband is rude about satisfying his sugar cravings than it is healthy for him. How is his weight? His blood sugar levels? Do you have diabetes in your family? What does his doctor think about this?

While ordering dessert before dinner and again after is unusual, I’m not sure it’s rude. However, it can be a bid for attention.

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.